How to build healthy relationships

What makes a relationship healthy? What about relationships like a friendship or marriage, what constitutes a good long lasting healthy friendship and marriage? All relationships would be considered healthy as long as it is built on mutual respect and love.

How can you make another human being feel loved and respected? We do this by getting to know them, and then we choose to act on what we know. This is how our world works, we believe we want to achieve something in a relationship, we make it our priority to find out how to achieve it, and then we believe in an act on what we have discovered.

The object of our faith becomes not so much the other party or what we want to achieve, but instead what we can do to make the other party feel loved and respected.

This is how all of us build long-lasting healthy relationships. When we do our part we trust our friend or our spouse to do his or her part so the result becomes a healthy friendship or a healthy marriage or friendship. We all know that to make a relationship work both have to do something. If one of them chose to remain inactive and just hold a passive faith in the relationship it would no longer be a healthy relationship.

Passive faith where we just acknowledge as a mental fact that we are married, or have a friendship, does not build a long lasting healthy relationship.

What do I mean when I say it would no longer be a healthy relationship if one party chose to remain inactive and just hold to a passive faith? Imagine if your spouse told you “I believe I am married to you, but I dont have to do anything to make the marriage work. It is your responsibility and your responsibility alone to make this marriage work”

What if your friend told you the same thing that they believed it was your responsibility to make the friendship work?You would soon grow very tired, exhausted and feel not so motivated to continue in that kind of relationship because it was no longer a reciprocal relationship.

This is how relationship works in our everyday life and living. This is how our world and societies works when it comes to relationships, and this is how the Bible describes our relationship to Yehovah (God).

Mainstream Christianity, on the other hand, would tell you it is impossible for you to do anything if you want a relationship with Yeshua (Jesus). They say the only way to a relationship with Yeshua is passive faith acknowledging He is the Son of God, your personal Savior and Lord who died for you on a cross. You dont have to do anything, just believe and you will be righteous because of your passive acknowledgment of who He is and what He did. They would tell you things like you are unable to live righteous without sin, so from now on, it is the responsibility of Jesus to change you and give you the power to live righteously.

Is this how you would build a relationship with a spouse, a friend, a coworker telling them “I believe you are my spouse, but I dont have to do anything to maintain our marriage. You are the one who has to change me into becoming a faithful spouse”. “I believe you are my friend, but I dont have to do anything to maintain our friendship. You are the one who has to change me into becoming a faithful friend”? If you tried this approach with your spouse, your friend, your coworker or your government you would soon be divorced, without friends, without a job, and behind bars.

We all know if we want a healthy relationship with someone, we have to find out how to achieve it, believe what we have discovered will bring us a healthy relationship and choose to act on our faith.

Why have we accepted the mainstream Christianities way of building a relationship with Yeshua when it does not make sense and it is not in the Bible? Why have we accepted this way of building a relationship with Yeshua when we would never ever treat our spouses or friends this way?

Because we have been deceived into following men instead of following and obeying Yehovah.

The Bible says in Exodus 19:5, Deut 28:1-13, Matthew 12:50, John 13:14 if we will obey Yeshua (Jesus) and His commandments, we will be blessed in return. We know from Matthew 12:50 Yeshua’s commandments are the same as the law of Moses found in the book of Deuteronomy. Deut 28:1-13 goes into details describing to us what those blessings look like, we will be healed, prospered, protected and have all our needs met on a daily basis if we are in a relationship with our God. Deut 28:1-13, Matthew 6:25-34, Matthew 12:50, 1.John 2:6 we can only enter into that kind of relationship if we have an active faith shown in obedience to the conditions of the relationship. The conditions are according to Deut 28:1-13 the law of Moses. When we read Deut 28:1-13 and Matthew 6:25-34 we understand why Yeshua says we should never worry about anything if we make it our priority to obey the Torah. Yehovah is well able to do His part and bless those that enter into a relationship with Him.

We see from the Bible it is possible for us to have a reciprocal relationship with our creator and God. (Ex 19:5, Deut 28:1-45, Matthew 6:25-34). We also see that everything Yehovah promises in the Bible, even salvation itself, depends on us choosing to entering into this kind of relationship. If we enter into this relationship the way we would do with any other relationship, He will prove Himself as our God and show us and the rest of the world how much He loves us.

The Bible is so clear about this, there is no difference between our relationship to Yehovah and all our other relationships. If we do our part, which is to make it our priority to show our love, respect, and obedience for our creator and Savior, He will do His part which is to meet all our needs. This is how Yeshua knows that we love Him, this is how we are one with Him, and this is how we become a child of Yehovah according to the Bible. (John 14:15, 1. John 2:6, Matthew 12:50) It should not be too difficult for us to want to show our love for the one who died for us on a cross or to want to have a relationship with someone who loves us enough to die for our sins. So why then do we have to complicate it by listening to what mainstream Christianity says instead of what the Bible says?

Mainstream Christianity would agree with the above. They also believe we have to show our love for Yeshua as proof that we are saved. But because they have abandoned the Torah they dont know any longer how to love Him, so they end up with 40 000 + different denominations all claiming they know best how to make Him feel loved.

The Bible says there is only one way to make our Messiah feel loved, and that is if we obey His law, the law of Moses. (John 14:15, Matt 12:50)

The question then comes up, are we saved by works? Because it sure sounds like it if we believe there is something we must do to maintain our relationship with Yehovah?

Let me first ask you this question, are you married or have friends because you did something to deserve them? No, you can never be married or have friends because of your own works. It is impossible to be married by works or enter into a friendship by works. A person chooses to marry you or become your friend when they see something in your life and personality they want to be a part of. You choose to marry and become friends with someone when you see something in their life and personality you want to be a part of. You choose to marry someone or become their friend because you feel attracted to them, not because of something they did for you.

So even though you know friendships and marriages can never be won by works, you still know it is important to do works to maintain them.

As with any other relationship, we can not enter into a relationship to Yehovah by works, but we have to do works to maintain it. (James 2:10-26, 1.John 2:6, Matt 12:50, 7:21-23, John 14.15, Matthew 6:25-34) If we dont do something to maintain our relationship with Yehovah, that relationship will soon crumble as with any other relationship. But if we want a healthy strong relationship with the one who created us, we have to make sure to do our part which is to obey the Torah, the law of Moses. (Matthew 12:50, James 2:10-26)

So to answer your question, no we can not and will never be saved by works.

But there is another reason why we can not be saved by works, and that is the law of Moses. The law of Moses proves salvation is by grace through faith, so why then would mainstream Christianity believe it has been done away with at the cross?

We chose to be unfaithful to Yehovah the day we chose to commit our first sin. Because of this He gave us what we wanted and divorced Himself from us. If we tell Him by how we live we want to be married to another god He will allow that to happen because He loves us too much to force us to stay in a relationship with Him. But the consequences of making such a choice is terrible indeed considering how there is only one true God and His name is Yehovah. Those other gods are not God, but if we leave Yehovah to serve them we will have to pay the consequences for it in this life and the next. (Deut 28:14-45, Matthew 7:21-23)

The Bible says in Ex 19:5 and 1.John 5:3 it is easy to obey Yehovah and to serve Him. So the law of Moses is not difficult for us to follow according to the Bible. So in itself, it could be possible to be saved by works, the only we thing we had to do would be to start obeying Him again.

The problem is the law in Numbers 5 which says it is an abomination for Him to accept us back as His people just on account of our works. When we choose to be unfaithful to Him He is not allowed to take us back if we want to come back to Him.

At the same time He wants a relationship with us, so He chooses to die on a cross to make it possible for us to come back to Him. When He died He became free from the law in Numbers 5 preventing Him to accept us back as His people. Now He is free to accept as His people again everyone who believes by faith they died with Him on that cross. When we will believe He died for our transgressions and iniquities, we will be reconciled to Him, forgiven for our unfaithfulness and free from the law in Numbers 5 preventing us to come back to Him. Now we have the opportunity to enter into a lasting relationship with Yehovah. But if we make that choice to come back to Him in faith, we have to do our part to build a healthy relationship with Him. We do this by acting on what we know will give us a healthy relationship which is obedience to the law of Moses.

So no, we can never ever earn our salvation. But the Bible says if we dont make it our priority to obey the Mosaic law we will never be able to have a healthy relationship with our God. We need to accept the fact that a healthy relationship with Yehovah is built on our decision to obey His law the law of Moses. (James 2:10-26, 1.John 2:6)

The Bible goes on to say if we dont have a healthy relationship with Yehovah, we are not saved. (James 2:10-26, 1.John 2:6, Matthew 7:21-23, 12:50) Passive faith does not save you, praying the sinner’s prayer does not save you. Obeying some but not all of the commandments in the Torah is not proof enough that your faith in the cross can save you. (James 2:10-26) So even though we can’t be saved by works, our salvation has to show itself in obedience to the Torah. This should not suprise us, considering it is the exact same way we build and maintain healthy relationships here on earth.

If it does not show itself in works we have to accept the fact that we are not saved and He does not know who we are. Could this be the reason why your prayers are not heard and why you are in danger of one day hearing “depart from Me for I never knew you, your workers of lawlessness”(Matt 7:21-23)?

This is what the Bible says, that to have a healthy saving relationship with Yehovah we have to obey the law of Moses. This is not what is being preached in the churches.

So what are the consequences of believing what is being preached today in mainstream Christianity? The biggest and most dangerous consequence is that you will lose your salvation because you are being taught how not to have a relationship with Yehovah.

We see this described in the parable of the 10 virgins in Matthew 25, there were 10 of them but only 5 had oil on their lamps. When the bridegroom came those with oil on their lamps where given access to the wedding, those who did not have any oil were cast out into the outer darkness and the bridegroom denied having any relationships with them.

The oil on their lamps are the works they did to maintain the relationship with the bridegroom Yeshua. So those who did not have any oil had no works and they were not saved. (James 2:10-26, Mattew 7:21-23)

How many of you are like those 5 virgins without any oil? You have accepted Jesus into your heart, you believe you are a Christian, but you also believe the Torah was just for the Jews/a burden/ done away with at the cross. If that is you, you are one of the 5 virgins who does not have any oil on your lamp. He does not know who you are even though you claim His name, if He returns right now, you will be cast out into outer darkness. (Mattew 25, 12:50, 7:21-23)

How terrible that must be to have lived your entire life as a Christian, confessing Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and then hear Him say “I dont know you, depart from Me you who are without Torah!” (Matthew 7:21-23)

There is still time, but we dont know how much time anyone of us have to make the right choice and fill our lamps with oil. Make the decision right now, to show your love for the one who died on a cross for your sins by obeying Torah from this day on.

If you do this, you will start building a long lasting relationship with Yehovah and one day that relationship will continue in heaven and the new earth for all eternity. Make the decision today to obey Torah and learn Torah so you know which one of the 613 commandments that applies to your gender and which one you can obey living outside of Israel without access to a temple.

I can guarantee you there is a heaven to gain, a relationship to gain with the one who made you if you will do this. There is power to gain if you will do this, the Bible says in Rev 12:11 this is how we overcome the devil by obeying Torah and having our faith in the cross.

The question then poses itself, do we have to live sinless and be perfect?

To understand the answer to this question we first have to understand there are three different descriptions of sin in Hebrew thought:




1.John 3:4 says sin is lawlessness and breaking the law of Moses. But if we turn to Isaiah 53:4-7 we see that it says Yeshua was bruised for our iniquites, wounded for our transgressions. If we turn to 1.John 3:9 it says anyone born of Yehovah can not sin and 1.John 1:9 says if we sin we can be forgiven when we repent and ask for forgiveness. Hebr 10:29 says those who sin after knowing the truth can not come back because they have trampled the blood of Yeshua under foot.

If we dont understand there are three different categories of sin in Hebrew thought we end up with a huge amount of apparent contradictions and the wrong impression that the Torah expects us to live perfectly.

Isaiah 53:4-7 says Yeshua was bruised for our iniquities, wounded for our transgressions. This means that He was bruised and wounded for all the times we chose to break the law of Moses. It is when we choose to break the Torah that Yehovah chooses to divorce us, not when we break the Torah by accident. So iniquities and transgressions are the two categories of sin that is always done with intent.

1.John 3:9 and Heb 10:29 says it is impossible for a man or a woman in a relationship with Yehovah, through faith in the cross and obedience to the law, to have a desire to choose to break the Torah. This means that if you are a child of Yehovah after choosing to repent back to Torah obedience, being reconciled by faith in the cross, you will desire to keep the Torah and the idea of choosing to breaking it is an abominiation to you.

So you dont keep the Torah to be saved, you keep it because you want to be in relationship with and love the one who died for your iniquites and transgression.

This is no different from the spouse who chooses to stay faithful and lay down his/her life for his/her spouse because of the love they have for them. To them the very idea of being unfaithful is an abomination something they would never consider doing.

1.John 3:9 and Hebr 10:29 does not say it is impossible to decide to break the Torah. But it warns us that if you decide to break the Torah, after you have become reconciled to Yehovah by repentance and faith in the cross, it is no turning back for you. You cant come back if you decide to do this, so backsliding is not a biblical concept.

This is no different from the spouse who at first decided to forgive and remarry their unfaithful spouse but then decides that if they can not stay faithful there is no second chance.

This is why there is no such thing as eternal sequrity in the Bible. We can choose to forfeit our salvation by going back into unfaithfullness to our God. If we choose to be unfaithful to Yehovah, after He has forgiven us, we will not have the opportunity to be forgiven again. Salvation is a one time experience, and you are the one who is in charge of making sure you stay saved by choosing to live faithful to your spouse Yehovah. (Phil 2:12-16)

Sin is breaking the law of Moses (1.John 3:4) with or without intent. But when we read the Bible in context, we understand that 1.John 1:9 speaks about unintentional sin. The things we all do but we have no desire to do, just as Peter the Apostle had no desire to deny Yeshua but he sinned and denied Him three times.

The Torah says in 1.John 1:9 if we confess our sins and repent of them we will be forgiven because Yehovah knows they were unintentional sins.

So the Torah does not expect you to be sinless or perfect, but it expects you not to have a desire to sin. It expects you to look upon sin as an abomination something you could never ever consider doing because you love Yehovah to much. But if you mess up something we all will do, there is forgiveness if we will just confess and repent.

By this we see how the Torah says our relationship with Yehovah is maintained by obedience to the Torah, and when we fail we can still come back if we confess and repent.

All of this is no different from any other relationship we have on this earth.

There are of course certain sins we can not commit unintentionally. So there are certain things we cant do because it takes intent to decide to ignore the Shabbat or eat unclean foods. It takes intent to decide to divorce and remarry someone, to have sex outside of marriage or to choose not to forgive.

So there are certain sins a child of Yehovah can not do, even unintentionally, because they require us to intentionally decide to do them.

Are you in a relationship with Yehovah? Does He know who you are?

If the answer is no, the time is now to enter into that relationship by repenting back to Torah obedience right now. You dont know how long you have to live, so this could be the last opportunity you have to build an eternal relationship with Yehovah.

So what about a dying person, someone who has never lived as a Christian, never kept Torah and they will be dead in a few minutes. Can they be saved and enter into a relationship with Yehovah when they dont have the time to keep Torah?

Yes, because we are not reconciled by keeping Torah. We are saved/reconciled by faith in the cross. Yehovah is the giver of life, and the one who decides when it is time to go. If that person who was about to die accepted Yeshua as their Lord and Savior Yehovah would consider him or her reconciled and saved, even though they would never be able to keep Torah. The Bible says this in John 3:16, we are reconciled by faith in the cross, not by works.

But if you are reading these words I guess you are alive and well and plan on living for another 100 + years on this earth. When Yehovah knows that you have been presented with the truth, shown what the Bible says about Torah, He keeps you accountable. So if you where now to decide not to keep Torah, even though you know what the Bible says, you would have made a very dangerous choice. (Matthew 7:21-23)

The Torah says we are to celebrate Shabbat, and today it is Friday. The Shabbat will begin in a few hours from now. It takes intent to decide not to celebrate Shabbat, so if you are a child of Yehovah, you will have a desire to obey by choosing to celebrate it.

We celebrate Shabbat by not working for money and not make other work for money. So make sure you do your groceries today.

There are of course exceptions to this, if you have a medical emergency you are allowed to break Shabbat. If you have a medical condition that only allows you to do certain things on the Shabbat but never during the week, you are allowed to break Shabbat. But if it can wait until tomorrow it has to wait.

Next Shabbat I will return at 01:00 am CET (Central European Time) with another Shabbat sermon. Keep sending me your prayer, prophecy and counseling requests it is always free of charge. Share these teachings on Facebook, download them and distribute them as you wish free of charge. They only thing I ask in return is that you tell others about this ministry so more people can know where to find free ministry.


Apostle Ernie

A sinner saved by grace, called to the office of an apostle. Jesus died for me, that is my only hope so I cling to the cross of Christ. Without the death of Christ on the cross I will be lost. But the cross of Christ is the source to ALL I need in this life and the next one. Apostle Ernie

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